~A visual guide to how The Himalayas helped me transform into a better being~
The crazy habit of getting into the zone of over-analyzing and recreating the past repeatedly is referred to as ‘The Loop’ in the blog.
Power through, if:
- You are broken and want to mend yourself.
- You are okay but stuck somewhere, and want to live a better life.
- You are all good and only want to go to the Himalayas (do not mind the text, focus on the pictures).
‘‘The visuals are embedded from my Instagram account. They speak a lot not only about the places that I have been but about the thoughts that have incessantly crossed my mind during the trip. I get uber emotional when I write and a little too sappy at times. Do not mind that. I have some unexplained mentions of my past which should not be dealt with seriously.’’
Sometimes, travel rejuvenates you. Sometimes, it changes you. But, some other times, it transforms you.
There is a thing with the mountains, not to be found in plains, not even in beaches — You always go up.
The trip to the Himalayas transformed me into becoming a better person and, this is a brief account of some of the most vital lessons that I learnt on my way to the top:
- Try not to be alone.
Manali was symbolic of the importance of new people in my life. It helped me forget the past and enjoy the present. Not having spent a lot of time in backpacker hostels, I did not know how cosy and warm they could be. And especially for a person like me who had been traveling with my ex for the last 3 years, a backpacker hostel seemed intimidating. I had forgotten to network and to make new friends and suddenly when I entered the place, I was greeted by the happiest faces on earth.
Treat solo travel as a way to get out of the present situation and not as a away to be alone.
During times of struggle, anxiety, depression or heartbreak, never be alone. Though solo-trips might be a solution, they should never literally be solo.Thoughts have a very bad habit of creeping into you when you are lonely. And hostels are the best places to be when you are stuck in a similar situation.
2. Move out of your comfort zone.
Second day, we were in Solang, also known as ‘The Adventure Valley’.
One could ski, paraglide and improvise your way in the silvery white snow. We trekked up a small hill and slid our way down a couple of times, only to realise that the jagged rocks beneath the snow could rip us apart (a tad greater than your ripped heart).
Jokes apart, involve yourself into an adrenaline rush but keep it limited. Keep yourself and the others safe. Do not let your misery affect the people around you.
Adrenaline is essentially a survival hormone and you need to get it pumped up to feel alive again. Run, climb, jump, or fly, if you may. Do whatever that makes you all red in the face (no, blushing doesn’t count).
A majority of people misuse this hormone by indulging in unmindful sexual encounters or getting into new relationships. Though both may seem comforting in the short-term, they can fuck you up pretty bad afterwards.
I am not against new relationships but given that you give yourself enough time to look within. Find exactly what you need — the kind of reciprovative emotions that fit in that gaping hole of a heart — and then dive deep into the world of newer possibilities.
Only let your body be fondled with, when you entirely understand the desires of your mind.
3. Create something new.
Third day, the completely unexpected trek to Goshal. Now this trek, unlike others, did not have a trail. We spent an entire day in the mountains, trekking our way up and down the slopes, meeting and greeting the locals (more so since we were lost most of the times and wanted help to find our way through the mountain).
Goshal trek was virgin and the feeling of making our own trails, analogous to building something from scratch, which most call inventions is a major mood-uplifter.
Invent something. It could be a new lifestyle, a new business, a new idea, anything.
To my surprise, the activity had helped me not over-analyze my situation but had provided me with a solution to break ‘The Loop’. Though traveling is a solution, I suggest that after a few weeks of random explorations, the mind needs something substatial to work upon. It should never be left empty for a time greater than what is prescribed healthy. So, go and get back to work.
If something that you created has left you, indulge yourself religiously into creating something else and it shall find you again.
Do something that keeps you occupied for a major chunk of the day. I am not stating that the method is foolproof, since you will stil be haunted by ‘The Loop’ during coffee breaks or post-office hours. It is okay to feel that way. Do not suppress your feelings. Let them come to you, but always learn how you react to them when they do. In this case, always be involved in creating something new.
4. Always control your actions (and reactions!).
By the time we were in Kasol, a new emotion had started to dawn upon me — The feling of living in the purest form. Riding along the Parvati, the only thing I could think of was how turbulent and yet how graceful the river was. And it struck me, calmness can be found in turbulence. The river Parvati was testament to the fact and she taught me to control my response.
No matter how bad things are, we always have the opportunity to manage how we react to them and, ultimately that is what defines us.
I can understand that most of us adults have gone through a plethora of such extreme emotions as grief, guilt, betrayal, anger, depression, mistrust, and so on. And, I can state with a heavy heart that it is tough to be normal after having been through something that has shaken us to the core. It is tough.
Yet, I state with full conviction that it is okay to err.
We are a flawed group of organisms and sometimes, we are bad to others and some other times people are bad to us. It is okay.
What is important here is that you learn from the misdeeds, the heartbreaks, and the tragedies and use them as an armour to help you become stronger. Easier said that done, but what can you do? Can you bring back the lost moments? Can you bring the love back? The smile? The laughter and the joy?
You can’t bring the exact same thing back. But, you can always strive for a better version of it.
I am unwaveringly sure that something in you really needs to change for better, to help your mind understand never to repeat what happened in the past. Look within but do not be extremely critical of yourself. Look within and seek the truth.
Spend time to understand your mind, body and spirit but do not over analyze. Play it easy.
5. Empathize
The group bifurcated and the three of us started on the trek to Kheerganga. We stayed the night in Barshaini, by the river — The most calming night I had in the last few days. The three of us discussed heartbreaks. And, by the time we were a few pegs down, I had begun to understand what empathising feels like.
I had never really tried to understand the other person’s perspective before. I was a good listener but never had I truly tried to understand what the other person might be feeling (probably one of the reaosns why she drifted apart).
Let people open up to you. Discussing personal trauma can help you heal. Likewise, talk your heart out too. Don’t make a fool out of yourself by crying out loud at every second person you meet. That will only make you feel more hopeless.
Go to a best friend, a sibling, or even a total stranger — find your peace in a person.
It is okay if you spent months talking to yourself, going over the details, and trying to get some sense out of people. Well, will this let you reach anywhere?
It is the same person that you are seeking answers from, over and over — You. How can you expect to find something from there? Discuss your pain with others, and let them discuss theirs too. This will allow your mind to heal much faster than you expect it to.
6. Accept the situation.
Kheerganga, the last day.
Kheerganga is a moderate trek. Reaching the top was nothing spectacular in terms of land cover, probably because we were there in the off-season. But, what made the trek standout was a pool of natural hot water located right at the top of the mountain. People say that the water has medicinal properties and it helps heal pain. Could it heal mine?
A gruelling trek of 5 hours is what it takes to truly enjoy 10 minutes of warm water bath. It was a -4 degrees at the top and the bath was nothing less than a life-saver.
The trek taught me that nothing comes easy.
If you want a good relationship, be a good person. If you want a job, be employable. If you want love, be lovable. All rests on you.
If something happens, it is very easy to blame people. Have you tried to look within? Accept your mistakes and promise yourself to grow and become a better person. You cannot mend what’s broken by complaining about the blow.
Only by changing yourself can you truly mend yourself.
Kheerganga was about accepting and moving on.
And, yes the bath did heal my pain. I came back a different person!
Going back to Delhi, I found my peace. This is not to say that I haven’t been in ‘The Loop’ again, but now the difference is that I have so many ways to tackle it and to not let the thought linger on for long.
Accept that it is gone, you were wrong in some situations and so were the people involved, accept that and move on. Period.
